If you have ever asked yourself, “Do we need marriage counseling?” then that is a pretty good indication that you should pursue that thought.
The truth is, I think every couple needs workshops, retreats, guidance, and at times couples counseling to develop the best relationship possible.
Romantic relationships are one of those things that few of us receive any training in. The only knowledge we have comes from watching our parents and other couples, and our own past romantic relationships. Most of the time, those are not the best teachers.
Yet there is often a lot of hesitation and shame associated with couples counseling. We are afraid of what others will think if they find out we are seeing a marriage therapist. Or maybe there is the fear that marriage therapy wont work. It is a big investment in time, money, and emotional energy. Do I really want to invest so much when Im not sure really we need marriage counseling or that it will help?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you ponder whether or not your relationship could benefit from couples counseling.
How do I know if we need marriage counseling?
- Do you and your partner ever get stuck in your interactions and not know how to get past the disconnection?
- Has there been any deep emotional hurts such as pornography, infidelity, addiction, or absence during a time of great need such as after a miscarriage or loss of a parent?
- Have you been disillusioned with the idea of marriage and what you thought romantic love would look and feel like?
- Do you feel sad, alone, or inadequate?
- Do you have an otherwise great marriage, but feel there is potential for stronger connection and deeper bonding?
- Have you or your spouse experienced any trauma or abuse?
- Is there sexual disconnection that you dont know how to move past?
- Have you ever considered that life would be better if you were not together?
- Have you read any books on how to improve your relationship and felt that the information in there wasnt sufficient to help you achieve what you are looking for?
The good news is that we know and understand romantic love. It is not a mystery anymore. It is not a fairy tale idea that we have to grow out of now that we are adults. It is real and it is possible!
I would encourage you to consider attending a workshop or retreat designed to strengthen your relationship. Invest in what matters most! Learn about how to create a relationships that really does feel like a fairy tale, but is lasting and authentic.
If, in your heart, you feel moved towards marriage counseling even if that inclination is small, talk to a marriage therapist and see what they have to offer you. Find out if your relationship could benefit from education and guidance from someone who understands what love looks and feels like and knows how to help you achieve that.
Most importantly, believe that it is possible!